NASA discovers Earthbound asteroid: Is this really the end?

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Just when we thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse, with the ongoing coronavirus pandemic and the final season of Game of Thrones still haunting our dreams, scientists over at NASA have gone and discovered an asteroid capable of ending all life as we know it.

The 4KM-wide rock was first discovered by an overzealous intern on a lazy Tuesday afternoon, and it is currently estimated to reach the Earth by the end of the month. Scary stuff.

An asteroid with your name on it

But in all things, we’ve got to stay positive and look on the bright side. I mean, if there is one thing all those Hollywood movies have taught us, it is that there are worse ways for civilization to come to an end. The entire human race could be enslaved by space aliens. Liverpool could actually win the English Premier League. The song Macarena by Los Del Rio could make a comeback.

So, in the spirit of positivity and looking on the bright side, we are pleased to announce that we are launching our first and last-ever End of the World Sale. Save big on all your favorite end-of-the-world essentials, from hazmat suits, to cans of tuna, to a few extra shells for that trusty shotgun. We even have toilet paper! Who would’ve thought?

End of the World essentials

We acknowledge that most of you probably wouldn’t last very long in any kind of post-apocalyptic setting, which is why we are committed to giving you a fighting chance. So head on over to our website today and get ready for the apocalypse.

And just in case you still haven’t guessed it by now… April Fools! We really had you going, didn’t we? If you’re still in the mood for a good laugh, then be sure to check out our list of the funniest coronavirus memes.